My heart fell.
That horrible feeling, that something could go terribly wrong.
I looked up, staring at the metal chains, that held everything together.
What if one of the chains let loose?
What if we fell out of the seat?
What if the buckle wasn’t put on properly?
My 6-year-old daughter was beaming.
Her eyes alive with joy, hands in the air. Shrieking with glee.
Eventually, the ride stopped.
My stomach returned to where it was meant to be and I staggered off the ride.
Then it dawned on me.
The simplicity of a child. They live in the moment. Hands free, not thinking or predicting the worst. Not catastrophizing what may be but simply living in the moment.
Enjoying what is in front of them.
Experiencing life at its fullest.
As an adult, how often do we spend in doubt?
When I think about it, I’ve spent a lot of my adult life worrying. Thinking what would I do if, this and this happened.
I passed up on an amazing job because I was too busy worrying about my future, what will happen if I was to get pregnant? How will I be able to juggle a Country Managers role, responsible for setting up and driving a new business in a foreign country and still be the mother I want to be?
And that wasn’t the only time I hesitated about my future.
For a long while, I was paralysed by fear. I had outgrown my old role and was stagnant in my career. But instead of creating a new future, I was a slave to the worries in my head.
Too often I’ve been the adult on the ride.
Staring at the nuts and bolts waiting, praying that they will not give way. Clenching the handles so tightly paralysed with fear.
Now, as I create my future I want to be more like my 6-year-old girl.
Living life. Experiencing every moment of it.
To her, it’s an amusement park ride. One where she can experience what it feels like to fly. There are no if’s or what’s. Not a thought that the chain may break or the ride collapse.
Just the pure pleasure of flying high in the sky.
What about you? How are you creating your future?
Written by Phebe Cho.